K., Judith Wright says, “You might think that you’re dating the extreme opposite to your father, and yet the unconscious mind finds a way of slipping back into what’s comfortable.”When we’re young, “pre-sexual programming” occurs, where we start to form relationship ideals based on those around us, like our parents.
Various situations women grow up in can make them more likely to opt for a men similar to their dads.
Briefly, children, with loving and consistently attuned mothers grow up to be adults who see themselves positively, are comfortable seeking out close relationships and depending on others, and don’t worry about being alone or being rejected. According to the work of Kim Bartholomew, anxiously attached people will be “preoccupied” in relationships; they have a negative view of themselves and look to others to validate them.
Many daughters idealize their fathers because they don't know them well enough to see their weaknesses, their vulnerabilities and their flaws.For example, women with bad father-daughter relationships will unintentionally fall for similar men because they feel they can “do a better job this time around,” Wright says.Women who didn’t have father figures growing up are likely to fall for older men, hoping to fill the empty space their fathers left.The type of man who makes a woman’s heart flutter has a lot to do with whether she was a daddy’s girl, according to a new study.Women who got along well with their dads as kids are attracted to men who resemble their fathers, whereas women who had a bad father-daughter relationship do not.The father's fallibility remains elusive, and his daughter, perceiving his strengths but not his frailties, desires his approval -- and unconsciously seeks to duplicate the relationship with a partner.