When asked what she wishes her mom would do differently while dating, Rachel, a smart young graduate student, replied, “I wish she would recognize her own impulsivity and emotional rollercoaster.
She does and says things without recognizing that to some extent our whole family is dating this guy.
When kids predate dating, the couple’s relationship inherently creates competing attachments.
They don’t even have to know his or her name at this stage. Reassure them “All kids want to know is that they’re still the most important people in your life no matter what. You can acknowledge their question, assess whether or not it’s one you should answer and just simply tell them that you aren’t going to answer that right now. Then listen, acknowledge and validate—no matter what their reaction is.
“This is one of those cases where less is more,” she says.
“Provide basic information to a child, depending on age and developmental stage.” And remember: They’re your kids, not your friends.
When my ex walked out, my daughter wasn’t even two yet.
I remember saying to my mom that I didn’t know anyone else who was divorced, single parenting and dating.