The process of actually finding your ideal partner can be even more of an arduous process challenge.
Collins and Steele taught me about lust, love and the dangers that could arise from both. Now that I’m the parent of a teenager, I give him the advice I wish I had received when I was his age. I asked him if there were any signs that she may be interested in more than a friendship, because sometimes people can misinterpret signals.
Beginner reading on non-monogamy over-hypes jealousy to the point where people go into non-monogamy assuming any negative feeling they have about a person their partner is dating is inherently jealousy and any attempt to express that feeling is automatically controlling, abusive behaviour.
In my first non-monogamous ‘relationship’, I had spoken to this guy for a year (I lived in the US, he in the UK and I was moving to the UK within a few months) when he suddenly began dating a person he’d never mentioned before.
This person seemed relatively cool and similar to me so I offered to friend them on Facebook to get to know them.
The guy immediately banned me from speaking to them on the grounds that he felt more comfortable with us talking in person first.